So my girls and I were looking through my old high school yearbooks the other day, laughing at the 80's hair and clothes (being a little disturbed actually at how back in style some of them are) when we came across my best friend, Steve Hoemann. Steve was my jello buddy, we did everything together, and knowing what I know now about the true nature of friendship I didn't value him nearly enough then. He lost girlfriends over me when I'd show up at his house at 2 in the morning in tears because of some jerk I was dating and because we were pretty much inseparable. He was 100% in love with me but knowing I didn't feel that way about him didn't affect our friendship at all. I didn't realize how much of a toll it really took on him until after I was married and had Amanda and I wanted him to meet her. She was about 6 months old when he came into where I worked, job hunting, and I asked him if he'd come over to see her. We got to my parents' house where he stopped on the front porch and said, with tears in his eyes, "Jess, I can't do this, I just can't, I'm so sorry," and turned around and walked away. That was the last time I saw him or heard from him. After looking through those yearbooks however, I decided 18 years was long enough. I'd had his address for some time and finally had the courage to email him. Thankfully, he wrote back. He's married and teaching high school in Minnesota. He has two little boys who are ADORABLE (I love technology, instant pictures). What took me by surprise was how much I missed him. Like a little piece of me was finally back home. He hasn't changed much, a bit less hair and a few more laugh lines, but his eyes and smile are still my jello.